Emptied.

A few weeks ago in children's church I told the children that I wanted to be poured out in this life, to be emptied.  I don't remember why we were talking about this.  It seems deep to talk about with 5-12 year-olds.  I guess maybe we were talking about God's plans for our lives.  I told them that I didn't want to end my days with anything left undone. I said that I want to make sure to use everything that God has put in me for his glory.  Since then I've thought of those words several times.  Do I really want to be poured out?  Do I really even know what that means?  Every once in a while I'll think of a random chapter and verse in the Bible and then go and look it up.  Today I thought of Exodus 3:10.  Exodus, huh?  I was sure that it must have been just my own thoughts leading me to this passage.  It would probably be some kind of genealogy or something.  I would read it and then close the book and go on about my day.  It's funny though.  I think it means something for me, like right now.  Crazy thought, huh?  That God's Word could be ALIVE and relevant for me right this very moment.  Carry on.  So, I read the scripture and here's what it said; "So now, go.  I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt."  I think God was wanting Moses to be poured out.  I think He wanted to use the things that He had put in Moses and the things that He would put into Moses for this very task.  A huge task, by the way.  Setting free a nation is no small feat.  Moses answered back with a list of reasons why he would not be able to complete the task. God simply blew back his hair with this response, "I AM WHO I AM.  Tell them, I am has sent you."  Even now the remembrance of this scene in The Prince of Egypt makes me tingle.  Being poured out or used up for the sake of God's purposes is not easy.  It sounds really good.  It sounds like, "Hey, yeah. I'll be poured out for something important.  I want to make my life count.  I want for God to use me."  It's more like, "I'll give my everything.  I'll take up my bloody, heavy, splinter-laced, sin-laden cross and follow you daily.  I'll carry the burdens that you carry.  I'll walk the way that you walked.  I'll love people who are mean. I'll give up my days to do what you want me to do.  I'll get hot and sweaty, when it's easier to stay cool and clean.  I'll pack my babies around on my hip, doing whatever in the world you want me to do.  Because... I love you.  I just want to show how much I love you."  Jesus gave it all.  He was 100% poured out on my behalf.  And as I sit here thinking about how selfish I can be, I'm challenged again.  Do I really want to be poured out for Jesus?  DO I?  I think that I do.  I want to live life fleshing out what that really means.  I'll continue to work to determine if what I told the kids that day, that I wanted to be poured out, really is "just what I've always wanted."