Monday, December 26, 2011

Old Writings # 1

I've decided to post a few things that I've written over the last few years about significant things in our life.  The first one is about my little Quinn.  It's her birthday week so I think it's appropriate. This was written not long before Quinn was born- sometime around December, nearly 3 years ago.  This is just a sort of journal of my thoughts during that time--but I dedicate it to Quinn.  She is a treasure.

Quinn's presence in my body has taught me many things.  She is our first baby and she is extraordinary.  I am concerned with her every move, every new change.  I've learned that I can live through vomiting every day.  I have learned that the body is made to stretch in all sorts of creative ways to make room for a tiny little girl.  I have discovered what the other side of 200 pounds looks like.  Enough talk of physical revelations- God has revealed interesting things through this baby girl and she hasn't even made her grand appearance yet. Quinn has a favorite spot in my tummy.  She gets in the top left corner of my tummy and nestles herself in under my ribs.  I have wondered why this spot is favored over others.  I was talking to a friend and mentioned this to her.  She said her nurse told her once that babies love that place closest to the heart because it is soothing to hear mommy's heartbeat.  What a parallel!  My little girl wants to be close to my heart.  She wants to hear what my heart has to say.  Shouldn't it be the same in our relationship with God?  Oh, that we would long for his heart in this way.  If only we would find our greatest rest and comfort closest to God's heart.  Sometimes when she makes herself at home in that special place near my heart, it becomes uncomfortable after a while.  I feel the need to move her from her place of comfort to a place where Mommy can have a moment of relief.  And so I nudge and push gently on this baby girl and try my best to force her move.  As soon as I make contact with her tiny frame, maybe an elbow or a knee, she jerks away.  It's as if she's trying to say, "No way! I've found my comfy spot and I cannot be moved!"  I continue to press gently until she gives in.  I like to consider this molding her will before she's even born.  Doesn't God want to do the same in our lives?  Just as we've found that comfortable spot where we can put up our feet and hang up a "WELCOME FRIENDS" sign, he gently nudges us to get us moving.  Complacency and apathy are bred in places of too much comfort and he loves us too much to let us stay there.  Like Quinn, as soon as we feel his gentle nudge, we quickly pull away and dig in our heels.  With gentle love he continues to push.  We slowly release defenses and let go of, at least for a moment, that secure place.  Once we give in, we find that God has been moving us to a place that is much more spacious and comfortable all along.  He only needed our cooperation to get us there.

No comments:

Post a Comment